In honor of this day of meaningful relationships, I wanted to openly profess my love...for my room.
This is the year I finally have my own room and I am totally, head over heels, in love with it. I love snuggling in bed, twelve pillows and all. I love the fresh air from the plants and the overflowing gold/white/black trinkets that I do not necessarily need but absolutely adore. I love organizing and reorganizing and rearranging it. I love looking at the massive periodic table reminding me to think big and to never stop learning. I love the turquoise wingback chair that a gracious and feisty 100 year old lady gave to me when she passed away and the vintage-anniversary Singer that Mama gave to me for my 21st birthday. Sometimes I think just being in my room on the weekend, waking up to sunlight streaming through the curtained windows, beats going on a vacation.
But before I fell in love with this room, I fell in love with a man. And I'll be honest, by the end I didn't really know me from him—I was us.
I didn't invest time into nurturing my own heart and soul, nor did I care to find the things I loved because I was so focused on loving him instead of loving myself first and foremost. Slowly, slowly since being apart, I've learned that to be loved you have to truly, and I mean truly, love yourself. Inside and out. Only then can people start loving you for you.
So although it may seem superficial, this love for the objects in my room, there is a part of me in them, I swear. (Yes, horcrux-esque.) The things I've made and the pieces I've chosen to constantly surround myself with are hand-picked with tender thought and care. They are investments in myself for my personal happiness. My love for my room and everything in it is a reminder that one day I will be loved. Him and me, we. We will have a room, and a home, and a life together. But for today, as I sit here meditatively in my room, the love for myself simply comes from within.
Happy Valentine's day. May you find love in yourself, for yourself, and in all places and spaces.
xoxoxoxo (extra hugs and kisses) from catie
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