go everywhere

With Spring here we've had the most perfect weather in LA and I've been planning some dreamy fieldtrips in the near future. (Think: Utah, Tulum, and Portland!) Also the wildflowers are in a super bloom because of all the rain we've been having so I want to go visit them ASAP. In the meantime, check out my fieldtrips to Seattle, Palm Springs, and Yosemite Valley!

xo from catie

2017

1. iPhone social media detox (for 3 months!)
Be more social, consume less media. Towards the end of 2016 I found myself mindlessly scrolling IG and Facebook or checking Snapchat even while in a conversation with my friends instead of listening. Deleting social apps off my phone, although difficult after initially going through swiping withdrawal, has allowed me to be much more present around people I love.

2. Meditate daily
I have a daily event with my fellow coworkers that reminds us to step away from our desks for a mere 15 minutes and meditate. Also the Headspace app is the perfect way as a beginner to get into meditation. Currently on a 20 day streak!

3. Work out 1 hour a week
Something is better than nothing! Also, so I don't feel discouraged when I only work out once.

4. Meet 3 new people
(When going out to a bar.) Welp 2017 is here and I'm still single, but I recently got out of a relationship that started by me gathering the courage to approach guys at a bar instead of waiting around for them to talk to me. Why not?! I literally have nothing to lose

5. No buying clothes/home goods (also for 3 months)
I'm trying to save money for a new car and after a flurry of spending activity in December, so no buying unnecessary 'clutter' items. However, I can spend on food and experiences.

Looking back, 2016 was a year of ups and downs, but I'm so excited and optimistic for the future!

xo from catie

be curious

In this turbulent time of politically uncharted territory, I feel like it's especially poignant to be curious towards others and not judgemental.

xo from catie

2015

I realize this is coming after months of neglect, but as with the new year I've made a few resolutions (one of which includes keeping a somewhat regular schedule for posts :).

1. Start a book club
Post to follow soon, if you'd like to join me on this journey!

2. Meditate daily
I'd really like to be more mindful and conscious of my actions, how it affects others, and use it to focus on shifting my perspective versus exerting my energy trying to change others.

3. Drink more water
Coffee is my go to ever since I graduated and started working regularly. It's a bad habit that I need to curb, or at least stay more hydrated to balance out my addiction.

4. Define a morning+night time routine
I want to a.) maximize my free time not stressing about details like what to wear or if my room is messy and b.) take care of myself in ways like moisturizing daily or giving myself a Sunday facial to prepare me for the work week ahead.

5. Blog regularly
Last, but certainly not least, I resolve to keep this blog updated with at least two posts a month. (Baby steps, baby steps!)

This is the year of routines for me and I'm excited to grow and learn and just be.

xo from catie

the pale blue dot

Lately I've been traveling, meeting new people and seeing sights I've never seen before. The mountains are grand, the cities and the watercolored skies humbling... It's really surprising how human we are and how connected we are despite the bombings and robberies that fill the news and media. This excerpt from Carl Sagan's Pale Blue Dot was particularly striking as I've been making my way around our little planet.

From this distant vantage point, the Earth might not seem of any particular interest. But for us, it's different. Consider again that dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar," every "supreme leader," every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there – on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.

The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that in glory and triumph they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner. How frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds. Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity – in all this vastness – there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves.

The Earth is the only world known, so far, to harbor life. There is nowhere else, at least in the near future, to which our species could migrate. Visit, yes. Settle, not yet. Like it or not, for the moment, the Earth is where we make our stand. It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character-building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we've ever known.

—Carl Sagan, Pale Blue Dot: A Vision of the Human Future in Space, 1997 reprint, pp. xv–xvi

the inbetween: 5 things i learned at my first job

The other day I did what felt like the hardest thing I've had to do in all my 22 years of life—

I left my job. 

It took every fiber of my being to muster up the courage and simply tell my boss, "I'm leaving." Having this candid conversation felt a bit like breaking up with someone. It's not you, it's me. I need to explore different paths while I'm young, meet new people, have more experiences...

But I've been thinking about pursuing passion and I've decided now is the time in my life to explore. I'm still discovering and learning about myself, but here are the top five things that my first job has taught me...

i'm #lucky

The other day I read a thought from interior designer and blogger Emily Henderson that really struck a chord. Having grown up Mormon, she talks about being lucky vs. blessed. Read what she had to say...

the inbetween: remembering the big picture

When I heard the learn’d astronomer;
When the proofs, the figures, were ranged in columns before me;
When I was shown the charts and the diagrams, to add, divide, and measure them;
When I, sitting, heard the astronomer, where he lectured with much applause in the lecture-room,
How soon, unaccountable, I became tired and sick;
Till rising and gliding out, I wander’d off by myself,
In the mystical moist night-air, and from time to time,
Look’d up in perfect silence at the stars.
- The Learn'd Astronomr by Walt Whitman

Somewhere between the harsh fluorescent lights glaring down and the bright projector glare, my vision became hazy. I was lost on the waves of monotonous lectures, swept up in a sea of formulas and postulates. I forgot that all of this would help me discover a more wondrous world. In the rat race of school (and life) it is too easy to become absorbed with these details that make it difficult to remember the big picture.

So I just wanted to share this poem as a reminder to those all of those still in school, especially my three little sisters, and to those like me, continuing their education. Despite all of school's trials and tribulations, the real light is outside, over there, and oh! how beautiful it is.

After the textbooks are closed and your diploma received, may your hunger for knowledge never be satiated, friend.

xo from catie

p.s. More from the inbetween series on starting and the pursuit of passion.

p.p.s. If you're not watching The Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey, which is free on Hulu, you're definitely missing out. I watched my first episode this weekend and am hooked!

{ photo from tumblr: the universe unknown }

in memorium, maya angelou

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” -Maya Angelou

To paraphrase Oprah, Maya Angelou will be remembered not just for the things she has done or written or spoken, but how she moved through the world with unshakeable calm, confidence and a fierce grace. The world will profoundly miss her, but she will always be a rainbow in the clouds.

Give me your hand

Make room for me
to lead and follow
you
beyond this rage of poetry.

Let others have
the privacy of
touching words
and love of loss
of love.

For me
Give me your hand.

-A Conceit, Maya Angelou

Today, let us live and love unabashedly-—be a rainbow in somebody's cloud.

xo from catie

done is better than perfect

As I was reading Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg I came across this quote from Facebook headquarters, "done is better than perfect," and it has become my mantra as of late. Don't worry, this is not a promotion for mediocrity. Rather, "done is better than perfect" is the attitude of believing in yourself and your ideas. It's a rallying call to put yourself out there despite imperfection.

This is why I write. It's not certainly not perfection, but it is done, and thus I'm able to progress. I write and I have nothing to lose, but even if I did the risk of failure is much better than staying complacent. Perfection hinders progress, so do and be done.

xo from catie

the inbetween: the pursuit of passion

The other day, I read an article on workplace morale which said that 70% of Americans are unhappy with their job. 70%!!! Almost three quarters of the working population don't like what they do for a living and yet they apathetically continue. What the heck?!

As I was discussing this dilemma with a friend, she mentioned that a surprising amount of coworkers have told her that they had a dream jobs, but now felt it was too late to be pursuing that career. This is coming from people who work at a company on "Fortune's best companies to work for" list. It made me realize though...I am on the cusp of becoming just like them.

Senior year leading up to graduation, my mantra was find a job. Find a job. Find a job. Find a job. Once I found one, there was an overwhelming feeling of relief. Of security. Maybe I was naïve, but at no point in time did I expect to be unhappy, discontent. The real world hit me but it didn't slap me in the face. Day by day I slipped into a routine and now slowly, slowly I'm being shook awake. This is not the life I had envisioned. Now, it is a constant question of

Do I continue on this safe, unhappy path or do I leap into the unknown in pursuit of passion?

My heart knows the answer but it's this "inbetween," the process of turning it into a reality, that's so scary and so seemingly against everything I've worked toward thus far. I started this blog because I was lost, without a sense of purpose in life. I'm just now beginning to figure out who I am. I've finally written a fieldnotes manifesto defining what this blog is and what I envision for it. Although I still don't know exactly what I want to do with the rest of my life, I do know that I need to find a zeal for my career. Not much is sure, but I'm here for ya. We're all in this crazy world figuring out how to navigate this imperfectly perfect life together.

xo from catie

i am my mothers daughter.

This is my mom and me. We are both 20 in this picture. She likes gardening and Candy Crush. I like cooking and napping. We like sewing and reading and making things.

I didn't want to be like her. When I was in my teens I thought she was terribly uncool, even mean. I told myself I would never be like her when I grew up. But now I'm growing up and with every passing day I see more of herself in me.

Each new freckle that dusts my face reminds me of her. My big teeth. My wide hips. And it's not just physical. I developed her tendency to overpack for everything (you never know if you need that glue gun!) and to keep the house ridiculously well stocked, filling every nook and cranny.

My mother is kind. She does not judge. She gives generously. She radiates genuine beauty, no make-up required (which she never even wears). I would be humbled if I attain half of the character she has. She is the superlative of Mother and I am so fortunate she's mine.

When I grow up, I want to be just like my mom.

Happy Mother's Day, Mama. I love you, I love you, I love you.....

xo from catie

los angeles color run: team heavyweights pt. 2

So I've made it to week 4 of my couch to 5k program (woo!), and the running has definitely gotten much more manageable. Here are some major benefits I'm starting to notice:

• My heart doesn't feel like it is about to pound out of my chest every. single. time.
• According to my Sleep Cycle app, my sleep quality is better
• I'm in a happier, more productive mood throughout the day
• Indulging occasionally on Panda Express is followed with less guilt

However, by far my favorite part of running is the surge of happiness whenever my early morning comrades and I exchange a "Good morning!" or a quick "Hello!" wave. (Maybe it's the Texas in me but it's such a nice and encouraging gesture!)

The downside is though, that I still struggle severely with waking up early. In fact, I'm behind my running schedule, even behind my other team members. It's so, so difficult for me to wake up early simply to run. Where the heck is that "runners high" or that happy feeling from those exercise endorphins??? Maybe my sleep hormones are suppressing them...

I'm making Perkis Power shirts for Team Heavyweights, so maybe it will give me the motivation to wake up! Once I've started the running is totally manageable, it's just a matter of starting. Any suggestions to help get my butt in gear are much appreciated!

xo from catie

earth day

When one tugs at a single thing in nature, he finds it attached to the rest of the world. -John Muir

xo from catie

what makes your heart beat?

Such a beautiful, beautiful short film. These words especially resonate with me.

I choose people, for the way that they can love, learn and grow
for the moments they create, and the strength they can show
for the will to do good, for the will to believe, the ability
to move on and the ability to grieve, to comfort, to hold,
to say I love you when I'm young and still mean it when I'm old
[...]  

My heart is split between many and yet some how complete.

What makes your heart beat??

{ film by Nathanael T. Presley for Darling Magazine }

the inbetween: on starting

It's been awhile since I've posted on the inbetween series. This post however is very fitting because I've always struggled with starting things. I make excuses. I'm afraid of failure and afraid of doing things alone among other irrational fears. But then, once I'm actually doing the things that I was initially afraid of, I find myself truly enjoying it. It's really quite the conundrum.

Something I found the other day that was extremely inspiring was that Julia Childs, one of the most famous chefs in the world, didn't even start actually cooking until she was 37! Seriously!? I could hardly believe it, but it's true. And if she could start at that age and become a world renowned chef, you can do whatever you want too.

But I have the habit of procrastinating and as the saying goes, old habits die hard, and actually according to the book I am currently reading The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg, they never really, truly die. It's is extremely insightful on not just how habits are formed, but how they can be changed and manipulated for the better.  I hate getting up early, but since I signed up for the 5K LA Color Run last week I knew I had to start running in order to do it. AH!

So my cue is when the alarm goes off I jump out of my bed and make it so I don't want to mess it up and go back to sleep, plus it gets me moving. I sleep in my comfy workout clothes and socks so literally all I have to do is put on my sneakers and go. I run the 30 minute routine and reward myself with a breakfast, coffee, and a shower followed with a high of accomplishment that lasts all day!

Although I'm on week 3, I still struggle with my habit of wanting to sleep in. Sometimes the alarm goes off at 7:30 a.m. and I just hit snooze over and over until I have to get up for work so I'm probably not getting any more rested. It makes it extra frustrating because I'm so conscious of my bad habit.  My roommate had to bet me $10 the other day to motivate me to wake up, which helped. But I need to keep going to prove this to myself that I can do this.

So speaking of starting new habits, as much as I love you being here reading about my struggles, you should get started on forming habits that make you a better, happier, healthier person as well. Remember, the hardest part is often simply starting and to quote Jake the Dog of Adventure Time:

"Sucking at something is the first step to becoming sort of good at something." 

So get off the computer. Go. Begin.

xo from catie

the reality of love

I just had to share this love-ly this poem! Sarah Kay and Phillip Kaye's candid wit and humor perfectly sums up the reality that our perceptions of love are constantly changing. Love is simultaneously not what you'd expect it to be and everything you'd expect it to be...and then some.

For more inspiration watch Sarah Kay's beautiful TED talk,  "If I Should Have a Daughter." And if you're so inclined, her first collection of poetry is available March 18th. Right now it's only $10 for pre-order instead of $15! (I bought one for me and one for my sister :)

xo from catie

{ via Upworthy }

morning inspiration

Some inspiration for your morning (and a little High School Musical throwback :). Have an awesome Tuesday, go get 'em tiger!

xo from catie

{ illustration by Molly Jacques }

fieldnotes: my room, a love story

In honor of this day of meaningful relationships, I wanted to openly profess my love...for my room.

This is the year I finally have my own room and I am totally, head over heels, in love with it. I love snuggling in bed, twelve pillows and all. I love the fresh air from the plants and the overflowing gold/white/black trinkets that I do not necessarily need but absolutely adore. I love organizing and reorganizing and rearranging it. I love looking at the massive periodic table reminding me to think big and to never stop learning. I love the turquoise wingback chair that a gracious and feisty 100 year old lady gave to me when she passed away and the vintage-anniversary Singer that Mama gave to me for my 21st birthday. Sometimes I think just being in my room on the weekend, waking up to sunlight streaming through the curtained windows, beats going on a vacation.

But before I fell in love with this room, I fell in love with a man. And I'll be honest, by the end I didn't really know me from him—I was us.

I didn't invest time into nurturing my own heart and soul, nor did I care to find the things I loved because I was so focused on loving him instead of loving myself first and foremost. Slowly, slowly since being apart, I've learned that to be loved you have to truly, and I mean truly, love yourself. Inside and out. Only then can people start loving you for you.

So although it may seem superficial, this love for the objects in my room, there is a part of me in them, I swear. (Yes, horcrux-esque.) The things I've made and the pieces I've chosen to constantly surround myself with are hand-picked with tender thought and care. They are investments in myself for my personal happiness. My love for my room and everything in it is a reminder that one day I will be loved. Him and me, we. We will have a room, and a home, and a life together. But for today, as I sit here meditatively in my room, the love for myself simply comes from within.

Happy Valentine's day. May you find love in yourself, for yourself, and in all places and spaces.

xoxoxoxo (extra hugs and kisses) from catie

morning inspiration, two

I was feeling a bit under the weather yesterday, but on the bright side had the time to practice my calligraphy. Yet another post inspired by a book! (John Green's The Fault in Our Stars is a quick and heartwarming read, if you're interested.) Have a joyous day!

xo from catie