the inbetween: remembering the big picture

When I heard the learn’d astronomer;
When the proofs, the figures, were ranged in columns before me;
When I was shown the charts and the diagrams, to add, divide, and measure them;
When I, sitting, heard the astronomer, where he lectured with much applause in the lecture-room,
How soon, unaccountable, I became tired and sick;
Till rising and gliding out, I wander’d off by myself,
In the mystical moist night-air, and from time to time,
Look’d up in perfect silence at the stars.
- The Learn'd Astronomr by Walt Whitman

Somewhere between the harsh fluorescent lights glaring down and the bright projector glare, my vision became hazy. I was lost on the waves of monotonous lectures, swept up in a sea of formulas and postulates. I forgot that all of this would help me discover a more wondrous world. In the rat race of school (and life) it is too easy to become absorbed with these details that make it difficult to remember the big picture.

So I just wanted to share this poem as a reminder to those all of those still in school, especially my three little sisters, and to those like me, continuing their education. Despite all of school's trials and tribulations, the real light is outside, over there, and oh! how beautiful it is.

After the textbooks are closed and your diploma received, may your hunger for knowledge never be satiated, friend.

xo from catie

p.s. More from the inbetween series on starting and the pursuit of passion.

p.p.s. If you're not watching The Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey, which is free on Hulu, you're definitely missing out. I watched my first episode this weekend and am hooked!

{ photo from tumblr: the universe unknown }

the inbetween: the pursuit of passion

The other day, I read an article on workplace morale which said that 70% of Americans are unhappy with their job. 70%!!! Almost three quarters of the working population don't like what they do for a living and yet they apathetically continue. What the heck?!

As I was discussing this dilemma with a friend, she mentioned that a surprising amount of coworkers have told her that they had a dream jobs, but now felt it was too late to be pursuing that career. This is coming from people who work at a company on "Fortune's best companies to work for" list. It made me realize though...I am on the cusp of becoming just like them.

Senior year leading up to graduation, my mantra was find a job. Find a job. Find a job. Find a job. Once I found one, there was an overwhelming feeling of relief. Of security. Maybe I was naïve, but at no point in time did I expect to be unhappy, discontent. The real world hit me but it didn't slap me in the face. Day by day I slipped into a routine and now slowly, slowly I'm being shook awake. This is not the life I had envisioned. Now, it is a constant question of

Do I continue on this safe, unhappy path or do I leap into the unknown in pursuit of passion?

My heart knows the answer but it's this "inbetween," the process of turning it into a reality, that's so scary and so seemingly against everything I've worked toward thus far. I started this blog because I was lost, without a sense of purpose in life. I'm just now beginning to figure out who I am. I've finally written a fieldnotes manifesto defining what this blog is and what I envision for it. Although I still don't know exactly what I want to do with the rest of my life, I do know that I need to find a zeal for my career. Not much is sure, but I'm here for ya. We're all in this crazy world figuring out how to navigate this imperfectly perfect life together.

xo from catie

the inbetween: on starting

It's been awhile since I've posted on the inbetween series. This post however is very fitting because I've always struggled with starting things. I make excuses. I'm afraid of failure and afraid of doing things alone among other irrational fears. But then, once I'm actually doing the things that I was initially afraid of, I find myself truly enjoying it. It's really quite the conundrum.

Something I found the other day that was extremely inspiring was that Julia Childs, one of the most famous chefs in the world, didn't even start actually cooking until she was 37! Seriously!? I could hardly believe it, but it's true. And if she could start at that age and become a world renowned chef, you can do whatever you want too.

But I have the habit of procrastinating and as the saying goes, old habits die hard, and actually according to the book I am currently reading The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg, they never really, truly die. It's is extremely insightful on not just how habits are formed, but how they can be changed and manipulated for the better.  I hate getting up early, but since I signed up for the 5K LA Color Run last week I knew I had to start running in order to do it. AH!

So my cue is when the alarm goes off I jump out of my bed and make it so I don't want to mess it up and go back to sleep, plus it gets me moving. I sleep in my comfy workout clothes and socks so literally all I have to do is put on my sneakers and go. I run the 30 minute routine and reward myself with a breakfast, coffee, and a shower followed with a high of accomplishment that lasts all day!

Although I'm on week 3, I still struggle with my habit of wanting to sleep in. Sometimes the alarm goes off at 7:30 a.m. and I just hit snooze over and over until I have to get up for work so I'm probably not getting any more rested. It makes it extra frustrating because I'm so conscious of my bad habit.  My roommate had to bet me $10 the other day to motivate me to wake up, which helped. But I need to keep going to prove this to myself that I can do this.

So speaking of starting new habits, as much as I love you being here reading about my struggles, you should get started on forming habits that make you a better, happier, healthier person as well. Remember, the hardest part is often simply starting and to quote Jake the Dog of Adventure Time:

"Sucking at something is the first step to becoming sort of good at something." 

So get off the computer. Go. Begin.

xo from catie